spooky-gator
this is true love y’all (x) | follow @the-movemnt
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I donβt still love you, but sometimes I catch myself drinking your favorite liquor, or feeling homesick whenever someoneβs smoking a cigarette, and you clung to me like smoke on clothing, it comes slowly and then suddenly youβre drowning in it. And I drowned in you, but I thought I had pulled myself out of the water, but sometimes I catch myself falling asleep on the floor because youβve touched every part of my bed, and every part of me. And sometimes I catch myself telling my mother I miss you when I meant to say Iβm fine and sometimes I dream you still love me, and when I wake up and youβre not there God it feels like someoneβs just punched me in the stomach. And I donβt still love you, but sometimes I find myself trying to find you again.
(via jessielou24)
Blue was his favorite color
This I sing to the sky
And to the seas and the ocean
And every puddle I passLike colors, you were only a perception
The way my eyes interpreted light hitting an object
So I interpreted your intentions and affections as being something
Real
but my delusions were the only realityLike synesthesia you were not just blue but 10
strikes on my thighs so no one could see
My blood was redI still think of you when it’s black
Of your shirt that was grey
And my heart that was transparentThe pills
When I crush them they will still be
And when I mix them with water that is
And when I drink I will no longer be
Blue
Because there aren’t any puddles in hell
Parker Rose (via wnq-writers)
They say I am a poet that my words make her beautiful; they donβt understand that I am not. I think that the sea is deep and blue and that is as far as I can go with expressions, they donβt understand that she is poetry and I am just reading.
VàZaki Nada (via wnq-writers)
He used to whisper βAngelβ into my ear. After a fight heβd crawl into bed wrap his arms around my waist and whisper βmy angel I love youβ over and over until the world turned black. When heβd kiss me, heβd kiss the word angel into my lips, cheek, neck, wrist. Heβd tangle it into my hair and burn it onto my skin wherever he touched. He thought I could save him, that a girl who didnβt know love until she saw his blue eyes could save someone who even the devil would have to admit was evil. He thought I could save him just from existing. But I was no angel, and he was no devil. We were just two fucked up kids trying to make it hurt less.
(via jessielou24)
Drink until the ache sobers
enough to drive you crazy
from absence of pain, now
look who’s healthy enough
to have no excuse for misery?
I got beat up by bikers, curious
whether bruises last as long
on the surface, a blue-gray
broken vein art show. Fists
make fantastic paintbrushes.
Don’t tell my parents I’m not
a kid anymore, how drugs
don’t sound so bad, that
I can live without school
or milk and still smile as
much as they do or don’t.
If I fall in love again I’ll be
ruined, not for the first time,
the last time, for every time
I go out hungry and wake
up next to a foreign body,
hungrier and less filled. It
never ends, not that I want
it to but a few hundred years
of sleep doesn’t sound so
bad. I would say let’s be
young forever but forever
ended in her uncles bedroom,
when mom left, at different
times for each of us but it
always ends.
“not that it matters to me” | Derek Deyling (via thedbldee)
i guess what i mean is that
the sea needs someone to watch it
and the sun doesn’t rise, doesn’t
turn the sky all pink and blue
and purple, just for the sake of it.
stars are shining for you to see them,
and every flower blooms, and
every flower wants you to point it
out and tell your friends it is beautiful.
the mountains may be rough
to climb over but they are wonderful
to look at. every lake and river
you dip your feet into is grateful
for your company. you are a part of
the universe, a part of this world. you are
no more and no less than the stars
you watch at night. and they are no more
and no less without you. stay up.
watch them.
no more, no less. // r.e.s (via thoughtsintorhymes)
7 boys who i thought loved me
he had blonde hair and i could have played connect the dots with his freckels and it would have created the galaxy. we chased each other on the play ground. i kissed him on the cheek and he kissed her on the lips.
he had tan skin and light blue eyes. he took my hand and showed me his religion but it didn’t end with an “amen”. it ended with rough kisses on the sunday school table and forced hands in my pants. i cried and he left.
the sun made his eyes look larger and i was riding on his back and after, we layed in a field full of grass. i was rambling about about a leaf and he was rambling about how crazy i was. i moved away and he moved on.
he watched me laugh as the bus driver hit the breaks too soon and after that he tried everything to make me laugh. he told me my smile was the best he ever seen so i kept laughing even when his jokes werent funny anymore. everyone thought we were friends but he touched me like i was something more. i was his and he was hers and everyone else’s.
i walked to the bathroom and his green eyes were burning holes into me while his fists were clenched. 2 years later i was laying on his bed room floor while he was yelling at me. i cried and he laughed. i spent 2 more years with him and i started planning my death. would he choke me out or would he pull my hair and kick me too hard? i finally left him and he left his father with a fractured skull. that would have been me.
3 months together and he had to leave for the summer. he asked me to move on and i told him never. the last night before he had to leave i was begging him to talk to me while he was kissing her neck. that summer was filled with my sickness and his handwritten letters. he told me he would come back for me, he asked for my forgiveness. july 23rd he came back only to be her soldier but i still forgave him
we were art walks and french kisses in movie theatres. i loved him, i really did. he told me i was his universe but everyone knew who he wanted. everyone knew it wasn’t me besides me. 3 months later we quickly turned into emotional abuse and lies. there were so many times i wanted an out, there were so many times he threatened suicide. eventually he left and so did the dark circles around my eyes.
(via xtracute)
Protect me from what I want
because when you kiss me
I can taste the poison in your lips
but I convince myself that they won’t kill me.Protect me from what I want
because when I look in your eyes
I can see myself drowning in all that blue
but I swear to myself that I won’t drown.Protect me from what I want
because when you touch me
I feel like I am being pushed down a cliff
but I make myself believe that I won’t fall.Protect me from what I want
because when I hear your voice
it’s like I’m being hypnotized
but i still believe I can think straight.Protect me from what I want
because the smell of your skin
it’s most dangerous drug I ever know
but I promisse myself I won’t get addicted.Protect me from what I want
because when I’m around you
it feels like I’m in hell
but I keep on telling myself that this is heaven.
I fell in love three times when I turned 18.
The first boy I loved was a musician and he had long pale fingers and dark eyes you could never tell what he was thinking. He smelt like cigarette smoke, and tasted like black coffee and when he was laying beside me he’d rub my back until I fell asleep.
The second boy I loved was all rough edges, and piercing blue eyes. He drank whiskey and wore all black. He liked to drive around at night and listen to music he thought no one else knew about. And when he kissed you it made you feel on top of the world because other girls would kill to be the one he wanted.
The third boy I loved was tall and had a soft voice, my mother told me not to let him get away and my best friend thought he was sweet. He’d always let me choose the movie and he could make me laugh more than anyone else ever could.
I thought I would love them forever, but we didn’t even last a year. (via jessielou24)
